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Laura Schonlau
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Bad Father Good Father

Three women, three separate stories, and the heartbreak that only those who have experienced sexual abuse can fully understand. How in the midst of a world of abuse could there possibly be any way out? Can you actually trust anyone? Can you trust a spouse to still love you if they know your story? Will they leave you when they find out the type of trash that caused all of this and that it was your own fault?
​The answers aren't found out in the world. They are found within. To experience a good father seems impossible. Yet they hear friends speak of having them. A good, good father is exactly what they need. The experience is life-changing.
Adult General  |  BODY, MIND & SPIRIT / Sacred Sexuality  |  2021  |  258 Pages            Print · Digital · Age 20+ · Two Month Novel Challenge Winner

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Part I - Bianca

Bianca was such a sassy little girl. Dark, thick red hair her mother kept cut short. Bianca was such a tomboy and took no time to mess with her hair. Her mother kept it cut in a short bob so that it wasn’t always a disheveled mess. You could get lost in her wide set blue eyes. She had a ruddy complexion and was very sarcastic. She was of average build but with short legs. She sported a broad forehead and thin lips. Her mother always tried to keep her nails cut short or Bianca would run around with broken, chipped, and dirty nails without any thought. Bianca has a hight pitched voice that can pierce the night when she raises her it.
Bianca has a younger sister, Dana. Dana is 8 years younger and adores everything about Bianca.
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Her family lived in Freemont, Nebraska. Her father, Damien, was an assistant manager at a large local company which was most popular for Spam. It wasn’t a big town. During the early 80’s it was a town of approximately 23,000 people. Her mother, Annette, worked part time as a substitute teacher. Their basic needs were always met. Bianca loved when they would go on road trips. Her favorite was to travel anywhere that she could climb trees, play in the dirt or just roughhouse in general. Her childhood was one of unbridled passion and fun.
Her father had a sister, Demi and her mother had two sisters, Anna and Amy with 1 brother Aaron.
​Her idea of having fun was playing football or basketball with the boys. On the playground at school, she always had to try to be better than the boys. If they were crossing the monkey bars, she had to catch up to and preferably pass them. As one young man was crossing she had a hard time catching up so when she got to where he was she put her hand over his and applied her weight as pressure to make him let go so she could beat him. She loved sports. Running track, high jump, and broad jump were her favorites. Competing in grade school at the end of the year was a highlight for her. She always won in each competition.
In fourth grade she had a teacher she absolutely adored. They got to do a lot of outside activities and even hatched duck and chicken eggs in the classroom. Mrs. Holmes will never know the lasting impact she had on Bianca.
Her parents were well known and they went to various activities and events. Her mother, Annette, love to attend catered parties. It made her feel pampered. During catered parties, many times Bianca was left to take care of her baby sister, Dana. Although Bianca was young, she was very responsible. Dana was a toddler with an early bedtime making taking care of her quite easy.
It was at a catered event her mother met a man named Milo. He was very attentive to Annette although he was not really supposed to mingle with the guests, he was quite smitten with Annette and visited her table repeatedly.
At a company picnic, Annette bumped into Milo again. He was helping clean up. They introduced themselves and she told him she remembered him as her server that did not give her time to ask for anything but was always right there with the next thing she might possibly need. It was if he could read her mind. He was relieved she remembered him and gave her his phone number in case she ever had a party or anything so he could be of assistance. Bianca came bounding up with Dana on her hip. Smiling broadly, she said hi to the man then asked her mom who he was. Bianca had come to find her mom because Dana needed a change of clothes and Bianca couldn’t find anything. Milo complimented Dana on being such a great big sister and obviously a huge help to her mom. Annette excused herself and the girls, all waving goodbye to Milo.
Her family was a pretty average upper middle class family. Her dad was gone a lot with work. Annette took care of the girls and attended Bianca’s track meets and school functions.
While Bianca was playing at the park, she saw Milo there one day. He was sitting by himself on a bench. She went over and said hello, asking if he had kids there, which he did not. She asked if he was married, which he was not. She asked why he came to the park if he was not going to play. Milo explained that sometimes he just enjoys sitting at the park, watching the kids play and listening to their laughter. She went on her way. Bianca told her mom that she had seen Milo at the park and Annette exclaimed that she would have to take Dana to the park also next time Bianca went.
The following week, Annette and the girls went to the park. After a bit, Milo arrived. Annette went over to talk with him while the girls were playing. They made small talk and laughed at some of Bianca’s antics. She could be very theatrical in her performances. Milo mentioned how much he admired her. This made Annette very proud.
As Annette left with the girls, Milo watched her. She kept her hair up. He wondered how long it really was and what she would look like if it were down. As they walked away, he noticed Bianca actually had the same sashay to her walk that her mother did. That surprised him a bit considering what a tomboy Bianca was.
Fall soon arrived. Annette had only seen Milo once other than when they met at the park. It was always such a nice visit. She wished Damien would make the time to sit and listen to her. He was so busy. She missed him but couldn’t change the circumstances. He was who he was and loved his job. He took very good care of her and the girls. So why did she feel so alone and even rejected. After the incident at the park she doubted she would ever see Milo again. She had been there with the girls and lost track of time during her chatter to Milo. Damien showed up demanding she get home and get the girls cleaned up and supper on the table. After arriving home, Damien did ask about Milo and how they knew each other. She shrugged it off  loosely saying he was just another parent at the park she visited with that day to ward off her boredom. Damien didn’t like it. He told her as much. He felt something off about the guy that did not settle with him well. He commented that Milo was probably a loser with nothing better to do. To Annette’s surprise this made her angry. Bianca overheard the conversation and told her father that Milo was not a loser, he was a very nice man. Damien had no idea how much his wife had began talking to Milo on the phone.
The Fall Fair soon arrived. It was unusually cold, but the whole family ventured out to have some fun. As Bianca was riding the Octopus, Damien spotted Milo. He turned to his wife and said, well, your loser even made it out. Again this infuriated Annette. When Bianca finished the ride, Annette took her and Dana to the bathroom. Milo had been keeping an eye on her and moved toward the bathroom exits. He was elated to get to talk to Annette in person if only for a few minutes.
Annette began going to meet Milo. Usually at the mall so it looked like they accidentally bumped into one another. They would sit in the Food Court and talk over coffee. Milo chided Annette about having a husband who was not really a husband at all. He was rarely home at decent hours, was gone a lot and did not seem to express affection to Annette in public. Annette did not stand up for Damien or make excuses. She found it very invigorating that Milo had taken such notice. Milo was so understanding, always willing to be there and just did not seem to be able to get enough of Annette. Annette’s love for her husband was waining as she became more and more attached to Milo. She always wanted to spend more time with him. By now, her husband working late hours or not being home did not phase her much. She had Milo to rely on.
By Christmas, Annette was ready to leave her husband for Milo. She knew she could not do it during the holidays but she had begun stashing away money so she could leave soon thereafter. She wanted and desired this man that made her feel beautiful, important, loved, and cared for. Milo had helped her to see what a miserable marriage she had.
  In mid-January, Annette moved out. Damien came home to a note on the kitchen counter. Annette told him to get a maid, she would serve the same purpose as Annette had for years. She expressed her disdain and let him know she was never coming back. Damien was broken hearted. He really did love Annette. He was just trying to be a great provider and take care of her and the kids. He wondered how he had missed her being so unhappy. His sadness turned to anger as he thought of all he did for his family. Then Annette has the audacity to take the girls and just move out? Surely, she had taken leave of her senses. On one hand he wanted her back home. On the other hand, what was the use? Why continue in what she explained as a loveless marriage where she no longer had any feelings, other than contempt, for him. Bianca had not wanted to leave her school and friends. Dana was too young to know the difference. Bianca already missed her dad and did not understand why they had to move without him. She was now in the 5th grade and this felt like the worst thing in the world to her. She just wanted her dad.
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Laura Schonlau

Born in Oklahoma, Laura has a huge heart for broken/hurting women. Being abused as a child gives her an ability to relate to them by hearing more than just their words. She hears their hearts and the underlying hurt. She has endured all of the emotions they go through; pain, hate, low self-esteem, unforgiveness, and the tears. The many, many tears she has shed, just like them, and for them. She has spent the last eighteen years helping women help themselves, move to places of forgiveness, and build self-esteem.

Information

Genres:
Religious Aspects of Sexuality | Gender and Relationships |
Sex & Sexuality: Advice & Issues

Country:
USA
Release Date:
February 01, 2021 (USA)
Publishing Co:
First Time Press

Language

Language:
English

Accessibility

Print:
Larger Easy to Read Print.
Age 20+:
Content is appropriate for audiences ages 20 and older due to intense and personal subject matter.

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